Friday, December 5, 2008

forward motion

I've come to realize that in my life I am either moving 100 miles an hour or I am not moving--- there is no inbetween for me.

Since junior high I've found myself making daily schedules, which generally have little to no free time penciled in. After my last disastrously stressful 20 credit semester I though this time I'd take it easy with 12 credits. Even though I had inteded for this to be a nice chill semester, it has ended up as my usual crazy life. I quickly found things sneaking into all of my planned free time. My calling in the Relief Society, my job, being a Koch Scholar, clubs, committees, and of course friends and family have filled my time.

None of the things I'm involved with are bad. It's just a lot of stuff. Right now I am pretty burnt out. I've averaged about 3 hours of sleep a night this week. I'm getting down to the end. I have no more classes to go to, but I do still have a 12 page paper for my Law Politics and War final, a 20 page paper about Sarah Palin to edit for my Parites and Elections class, and 2 monstrous- comprehensive finals.

I really don't love how busy I am, but I suppose it is better than the alternative, which is not moving.

This week Elder Wirthlin of the Quorom of the Twelve Apostles passed away. I decided to re-read talk from the last conference, it was one of my favorites. The tag-line in his talk is my new motto: "Come what may... and love it!" It's easy to get down on life when I am so stressed, but this finals week I am trying to love it. I was reading 2 Nephi 4: 16-35 tonight and just felt so happy. I'm realizing that it's really all going to be ok. Rather than falling apart I need to smile and move forward.

While I need to learn to maybe move a little slower in life, for now I'm just learning to love it, all of it.