I've come to realize that in my life I am either moving 100 miles an hour or I am not moving--- there is no inbetween for me.
Since junior high I've found myself making daily schedules, which generally have little to no free time penciled in. After my last disastrously stressful 20 credit semester I though this time I'd take it easy with 12 credits. Even though I had inteded for this to be a nice chill semester, it has ended up as my usual crazy life. I quickly found things sneaking into all of my planned free time. My calling in the Relief Society, my job, being a Koch Scholar, clubs, committees, and of course friends and family have filled my time.
None of the things I'm involved with are bad. It's just a lot of stuff. Right now I am pretty burnt out. I've averaged about 3 hours of sleep a night this week. I'm getting down to the end. I have no more classes to go to, but I do still have a 12 page paper for my Law Politics and War final, a 20 page paper about Sarah Palin to edit for my Parites and Elections class, and 2 monstrous- comprehensive finals.
I really don't love how busy I am, but I suppose it is better than the alternative, which is not moving.
This week Elder Wirthlin of the Quorom of the Twelve Apostles passed away. I decided to re-read talk from the last conference, it was one of my favorites. The tag-line in his talk is my new motto: "Come what may... and love it!" It's easy to get down on life when I am so stressed, but this finals week I am trying to love it. I was reading 2 Nephi 4: 16-35 tonight and just felt so happy. I'm realizing that it's really all going to be ok. Rather than falling apart I need to smile and move forward.
While I need to learn to maybe move a little slower in life, for now I'm just learning to love it, all of it.
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2 comments:
You go girl!
Just make sure to make time for some chillaxin time ;)
I had to schedule in time for breakdown sessions this last semester. With everything I had going on I didn't have time for myself. No time to let myself feel anything, no time for tears, no time for regret, no time to slow down...
If I slowed down I felt like I was becoming weak. I was scared that if I stopped moving if even for a moment I would not be able to pull myself off the floor.
Once a week I give myself an hour or more to just completely break down...to let my frustrations out by sitting and doing nothing but listening to music, laying on the floor, looking through a magazine mindlessly, or looking at pictures that I haven't looked at in a long time.
I noticed that I started to relax a little bit more-week by week.
You are allot like me...day planner, alarm clock, go go go.
It's a great way to be.
I would start by giving yourself a little break of time to just sit.
Not a work out break. Not an eating break. Not a facebook break. But literally a break where you sit and listen to music (like the song I posted on my blog called Bellas lulliby) and try to not think about ANYTHING. (Meditate.)
I consider it my daily recharge.
You are brilliant. I cannot imagine doing 20 credits. I was swimming with just 10 haha.
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